Tuesday, January 31, 2006

Liveblogging the SOTU

Lies Lies Lies Lies Lies Lies Lies Lies Lies Lies Lies Lies Lies Lies Lies Lies 9/11 Lies Lies Lies Lies Lies Lies Lies Lies Lies Lies Lies Lies Lies Lies Lies Lies Lies WMD Lies Lies Lies Lies Lies Lies Lies Lies Lies Lies Lies Lies Lies Lies Lies Lies Lies Lies Lies Lies Lies Lies Lies Lies Lies Lies Lies Lies Lies Lies Lies Lies Lies Lies Lies Lies Lies. Smug, self-righteous son of a bitch. I'll criticize, second-guess, and call you out any way I damn please. LIES!

Bah

NOW WITH EARLY-MORNING TYPOS CORRECTED FOR E-Z READING! Vitter, Boustany put constituents ahead of party? Well, so did Mary Landrieu! She crossed the line and ... and ... okay shut up! (Actually, I agree about Vitter, mostly; Boustany is still a waterboy, despite a passing bout of what passes for mouthiness in his world.) And Mary. Dear Mary. When you broke party ranks and voted for cloture during the Alito hearing, what was going through that empty little blonde head of yours? Did you get a promise from someone on the other side of the aisle, that maybe a vote for cloture would get you a yea vote on some aid money, or a re-look at the Baker bill? Poor thing. They don't play fair like that, Mary. They're going to fuck you and fuck you hard. You will get nothing for this, other than the sneers of republicans at how easily you were duped, and the disgust of democrats, whom you no longer represent. Give it up, girlie. You're obviously not smart enough, brave enough, or committed enough to be a Democratic United States Senator. Dems who are sick of our representatives being dumb and/or spineless capitulators should read this. Wow! Lafayette enters the high-tech world by building a $27.5 million dollar round theater like the one on that ride I took back at Disney World 25 years ago. Sweet! Now if BellSouth ever lets municipal cable happen, we can really show those technology snobs that Lafayette is a cutting edge high tech city of the future! I can't even type that without laughing. It's Whole Foods. People have been talking about it for years. Really, everyone knows. It's okay. Baby steps. Permitting expedited for NOLA residents. Five months after the storm, one might add, if one were cynical and contemptuous of the city's efforts to encourage rebuilding. Speaking of contemptuous: DUH DUHR DOI. The New York Times thinks too much attention has been paid to the Ninth Ward. Red Hot Single Levee Board action. It takes a constitutional amendment and a statewide vote to create a unified levee board in NOLA. Amazing. Condi Rice was "Surprised" by the Palestinian election results. I wonder what it's like to go through life being constantly surprised by everything: sunrises, gravity, traffic lights...

Monday, January 30, 2006

From scout prime: Here's a Candidate for Worst Person in the World

Saturday, January 28, 2006

Just another day in Washington

U.S. DoD prepares to boot into the Matrix: A Pentagon position paper lays out the rationale for Total Information Systems Control:
"It seems to see the internet as being equivalent to an enemy weapons system. 'Strategy should be based on the premise that the Department [of Defense] will 'fight the net' as it would an enemy weapons system,' it reads. The slogan 'fight the net' appears several times throughout the roadmap. The authors warn that US networks are very vulnerable to attack by hackers, enemies seeking to disable them, or spies looking for intelligence. 'Networks are growing faster than we can defend them... Attack sophistication is increasing... Number of events is increasing.' And, in a grand finale, the document recommends that the United States should seek the ability to 'provide maximum control of the entire electromagnetic spectrum'. US forces should be able to 'disrupt or destroy the full spectrum of globally emerging communications systems, sensors, and weapons systems dependent on the electromagnetic spectrum'."
It's just a position paper, and the Pentagon writes position papers on all kinds of nonsense, but it's certainly interesting, consideri-- ow ow ow ow ow okay I'll stop I'll stop just turn it off (Via Hoffmania.) _____________________________________________________ On today's episode of CSI:Dorkwatch, Little Ricky gets PWNED!

Yow

Looks like the latest Suspect Device cartoon is a little more popular than usual: On the Jan. 24, day I put it up:
Hits: 641 Page hits: 193 Hosts: 108 Data sent: 44.48 megabytes
Thursday the 26th, when it was linked on the Dead Pelican:
Hits: 3,222 Page hits: 904 Hosts: 651 Data sent: 357.70 megabytes
Friday the 25th, when my close personal friend Mukul Verma pimped my sweet ass over at the Daily Report:
Hits: 15,785 Page hits: 4,971 Hosts: 2,747 Data sent: 875.01 megabytes
Holy crap.

Friday, January 27, 2006

A Republican Scandal

But but but. Democrats took Abramoff money too! He just filtered it through his tribal clients! Sorry, but no.

Oh this just keeps getting better

Chad Rogers at the Dead Pelican gets a copy of about 15 minutes of Beth Courtney going off on Jeff Duhé. This is prime. She is a phenomenal bitch, just phenomenal. Unbelieveable. She might have a point about the "unethical" coverage and who gets to decide on news content, but holy crap! Mocking him in a sing-song nancy voice, telling him how much the other people at the station hate him, this is just outSTANDING. He sounds like a total turd. If she would have stopped at five minutes, it would have been a memorable chewing-out, but the whole thing just spirals up into the realm of legend. High point: after thirteen minutes of bellowing, she screams, "HAVE YOU LOST ALL SENSE OF PROPORTION?" Just wow. This is one of those most entertaining battles where both fighters are utterly loathesome and you can only hope for total obliteration of everyone involved. A+++ would listen to again.

Bobby J starts to come of age

Bobby Jindal respectfully disagrees with His Eminence. Bobby also seems to understand the concept of triage, where the severity of damage or injury is quickly assessed and the worst cases are attended to first. So, you know. The hardest-hit parts of New Orleans maybe should have gotten the attention? And maybe not be left to die while Garden District bumps and bruises are fussed over? Just a thought. I never had much use for Jindal, but I gave to admit, he's done a good job here. Oh God what's happening to me. _________________________________________________ I don't know who said it first, but I have to echo the sentiment: Will someone give this asshole a blowjob so we can impeach him? _________________________________________________ Beth Courtney's recent ethics violation was embarrassing enough, but to make matters worse, it's inspired -- and given some credence to -- creepy fired host Jeff Duhé and his long, long list of fabulously entertaining complaints to seek the spotlight and play the wounded whistleblower. The right-wing Accuracy in Media site gave Jeff a platform, and Jeff makes the most of it:
The sordid details of her illegal activities pale in comparison to her abusive management style. For decades, a pattern of vicious employee derision has escalated in proportion to her getting away with it. Profanity-filled screaming fits of red-faced intensity are routine. Standing in the halls of the network's flagship station in Baton Rouge, she curses and stamps like a flapping duck, weaponizing any arcane personal or family information she can call to mind to bludgeon the staff victim into submission.
That's a badass duck. I don't know Beth Courtney; I don't really have an opinionn about her or her management style. She got caught in the type of petty corruption that's all too common in Louisiana, but she has at least admitted it and paid her fine without weeks of denials and obfuscations. (Jeez, first Ray Nagin apologizes, and now this! Has accepting responsibility replaced those free-blowjob wristbands as the hot new fad?) I don't know Jeff Duhé, either, but this is a man to watch. And I mean closely, but out of the corner of your eye, so he doesn't see you and come over and sit down and start talking.
I tried to resist by staying quiet, ducking the fire," he tells AIM. "Then I heard 'I command you!' Yes, she actually speaks this way. Just after I reported her unethical activities to the Governor's Executive Counsel, I was fired. A thorough, hate- and profanity-filled screaming fit came first, of course. Anybody want to hear it? I've got it in MP3 now. It's 52-minutes long
He also has a list of 54 occasions of which he "surrendered to unethical pressures" ("Surrender to unethical pressure, Daisy!" "I shall not, sir! You are a cad and ... ooo ..."), including incidents so vile and corrupt they would have put De Sade off his plate of poop:
"Allowing promotional shorts to air, as part of News programming, which advertised an LPB-produced state-history series. The segment featured an interview with Beth Courtney as she praised her agency's product." "Allowing, in News programming, a Beth Courtney interview with an author promoting his autobiography. The book's publisher is LPB. Beth Courtney commandeered News programming to promote a book published by Beth Courtney. This is one for the ethics books." "Saying nothing when Beth Courtney entered into a contract to produce and air stories about the state's cultural agency which would highlight agency achievement. Beth Courtney's daughter is that Department's attorney.
Christ, it was like the golden days of the Weimar over there, wasn't it? The Accuracy in Media version of Jeff's story has been picked up by a couple of wingnut websites, but doesn't seem to be getting much traction. Like I said, I don't know Courtney, so I can't say how much of this rings true, but I can recognize highly buffed ("He won an Emmy!" Okay, a regional one, but still!) manufactured outrage when I see it. Good luck, Jeff. Maybe the wingnuts will take you in and show you off for a while. (I know this is all pretty trivial, but I really needed to be mean to something after W pissed on the Baker bill.) UPDATE: See post above for my review of this year's outstanding mp3, Beth Courtney's "WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU THINKING?"

Thursday, January 26, 2006

FEAR

Ah, those were the days. In case you can't see the movie above, go here to see Fear's notorious 1981 appearance on Saturday Night Live. Via Xtina.
I've been approaching every place I can think of by other means, obviously, but it can't hurt to bring this to the top again: I want to cover the 2006 Mardi Gras in the same fashion I covered business for Fortune Magazine: original reporting, photography, illustration, all in a comic strip format. Anyone interested in handing over 2-5 pages of space for a colorful, funny, insightful and unique take on the first Post-Apocalypse Mardi Gras please contact me at greg (at) suspect-device.com. I'm still waiting to hear back from Bird Talk, so if they call, the rest of y'all are out of luck. ____________________________________________ From Digby:
Please, please spare me the crocodile tears about leftist incivility. We are living in a political world formed by rightwing commentators who have made a fetish of harsh eliminationist rhetoric hammered over and over again into the ether until it sounds like normal discourse. And we've been waiting for more than a decade for the mainstream media to notice that rightwing celebrity pundits, who reach millions upon millions of listeners and viewers a day, routinely accuse liberals of treason and celebrate our deaths. It's made us a little bit testy. When important news outlets like the Washington Post see "leftist incivility" as a topic worthy of the rending of garments and gnashing of teeth it makes us wonder if they are even living in the same universe we do. Famous and wealthy toxic political commentators like Rush Limbaugh and Bill O'Reilly are routinely lauded as normal mainstream partisans while ordinary readers of the Washington Post are excoriated for incivility when they complain about inaccurate coverage that benefits Republicans. This is bizarro world. It is insane. It is a sign of a very sick political culture.
_____________________________________________ More fabulous lies: Glenn Greenwald elegantly points out the Bushco. opposed loosening the "restrictive" FISA regulations enabling warrantless domestic wiretapping. The same regulations they felt they had to go over and above in the war on terror. You remember.
In light of Gen. Hayden's new claim yesterday that the reason the Bush Administration decided to eavesdrop outside of FISA is because the "probable cause" standard for obtaining a FISA warrant was too onerous (and prevented them from obtaining warrants they needed to eavesdrop), there is a fact which I have not seen discussed anywhere but which now appears extremely significant, at least to me. In June, 2002, Republican Sen. Michael DeWine of Ohio introduced legislation (S. 2659) which would have eliminated the exact barrier to FISA which Gen. Hayden yesterday said is what necessitated the Administration bypassing FISA. Specifically, DeWine's legislation proposed: to amend the Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Act of 1978 to modify the standard of proof for issuance of orders regarding non-United States persons from probable cause to reasonable suspicion. . . . In other words, DeWine's bill, had it become law, would have eliminated the "probable cause" barrier (at least for non-U.S. persons) which the Administration is now pointing to as the reason why it had to circumvent FISA. During that time, the Administration was asked to advise Congress as to its position on this proposed amendment to loosen the standard for obtaining FISA warrants, and in response, they submitted a Statement from James A. Baker, the Justice Department lawyer who oversees that DoJ's Office of Intelligence Policy and Review, which is the group that "prepares and presents all applications for electronic surveillance and physical search under the Act to the Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Court (FISA Court or Court)." If anyone would be familiar with problems in obtaining FISA warrants, it would be Baker. And yet, look at what Baker said in his Statement. He began by effusively praising the Patriot Act on the ground that the 72-hour window provided by the Patriot Act had given the Administration the speed and flexibility it needed in order to engage in eavesdropping: The reforms in those measures (the PATRIOT Act) have affected every single application made by the Department for electronic surveillance or physical search of suspected terrorists and have enabled the government to become quicker, more flexible, and more focused in going "up" on those suspected terrorists in the United States. One simple but important change that Congress made was to lengthen the time period for us to bring to court applications in support of Attorney General-authorized emergency FISAs. This modification has allowed us to make full and effective use of FISA's pre-existing emergency provisions to ensure that the government acts swiftly to respond to terrorist threats. Again, we are grateful for the tools Congress provided us last fall for the fight against terrorism. Thank you. And then, regarding DeWine's specific proposal to lower the evidentiary standard required for a FISA warrant, Baker said that: The Department of Justice has been studying Sen. DeWine's proposed legislation. Because the proposed change raises both significant legal and practical issues, the Administration at this time is not prepared to support it.

Web Server Statistics for Suspect Device

Reqs:18 %bytes:6.12% host: ip-65-125-90-186.ieminc.com Get back to work, slacker. We're all waiting for that FEMA-funded report about where things went wrong with the Katrina response, so stop surfing and start backpedalling.

Wednesday, January 25, 2006

It's not just right-wing nutjobs who don't give a shit

The "progressives" don't give a shit about Louisiana either. Louisiana gets a major beatdown from the Bush administration and the best that D-Kos's pompous semi-literate gasbag Armando and his pack of noddy dogs can come up with is "Well, they weren't going to help you anyway, so get over it." It's real people and real problems right here, right now, moonbats. Real people with no homes, no hope, and, obviously, no sympathy from white liberals. "Might as well move out, since Bush isn't going to help you," as they said over at thepoorman.net a while back? Fuck you. You walk away from the fight. You roll over and go tits up as soon as you hear "sorry." I think we'll stay here and tough it out.

Now THIS is interesting ...

Bush to Louisiana: Drop Dead

Sorry. Here's your hat. I do hope all you red-state character-voting moral-values-cherishing monkey-hooting shovelheaded fuckwads are happy now.

Tuesday, January 24, 2006

they knew

Federal report predicted cataclysm Sometimes you just want to burn it all down.

Our very own Bundespoliezi

Sunday, January 22, 2006

The National Newspaper Association once called the Times of Acadiana one of the best newspapers in the country.

But that was then, and this is now: Fat fuck attempts to eat three-foot sandwich, fails, gets cover story. I think you guys have debased and humiliated that poor paper just about as far as you can, but I've thought that before. Call me Pollyanna.

Saturday, January 21, 2006

Whoops

Amen

Daily Kos: A Declaration of Media War: "Our response to September 11th, however crude and rapid the devolution once Mr. Bush decided to look for terrorists not in the back alleys, but where the light was better, was a heartfelt if momentary unity. I wonder, would the response be the same, next time around? (Because that, we can presume, is what the terrorists themselves have been calculating, with benefit of having all voices of media from which to pick and choose their truly silly, transparent wedges.) In a world where O'Reilly has already endorsed the premises and targets of a terrorist attack -- if another attack hit a major American city, would the condemnations of the O'Reilly's, the Gibsons, and the other purple patriots be forthcoming with the same vigor, or would the attack be looked upon with the grim satisfaction that Pat Robertson held up for New Orleans? Is that what we are foresaging, with these newest comments from the Fox News teleprompters? "

Friday, January 20, 2006

Levees: A Wee Parable

Wednesday, January 18, 2006

Huh.

Purple Heartbreakers

James Webb gets it exactly right: A young American now serving in Iraq might rightly wonder whether his or her service will be deliberately misconstrued 20 years from now, in the next rendition of politically motivated spinmeisters who never had the courage to step forward and put their own lives on the line. Support the troops, they all cry. But let those troops come home and register & run as a democrat, or speak out against the war, and right wing respect for service gets tossed out like the cheap piece of costume jewelry it always was.

Grrr

Having some blogger-related difficulties today, and as a result I've lost all of my sidebar links. I'll get you all back tonight.

Unscripted comments, eh?

Nagin has used the "Chocolate" metaphor before. That was no spontaneous, off-the-cuff verbal turd. That's a schtick. Thanks to Michael T. for the tip.

Sorry gotta run something came up

Nagin ditches Anderson Cooper citing "emergency", gets BUSTED. Fucking dolt. I think he needs another vacation, only maybe not Jamaica. Someplace like Saskatoon, where they don't grow the dope so goddamn strong.

Wynton Marsails at Tulane

Now is the time for your generation to reclaim the energy, optimism, and fire that is the real American spirit. I am confident that you students can, and will, make an incalculable contribution to the intelligent and compassionate rebuilding of our city and protection of our dispersed populace. In doing so, you will be using your collective power to redefine the soul of our nation... Don’t be disheartened by the destruction of the hurricane or by political ineptitude or even by the apathy of others. Remember, we are all home. That is why I urge you not to let this moment pass without sending a clear message to your peers and elders around the world, “New Orleans will be rebuilt, and it will be rebuilt with an intensity, with an intelligence, with an impatience and with a freshness that only serious young people can bring.” One of the great lessons of the Civil Rights Movement – when the minds and hearts of enough citizens are focused on change – America changes very quickly. I know that the challenge of rebuilding may seem insurmountable. But we have a roadmap to success - the path of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Because he didn’t settle for “that’s just the way things are,” we don’t have to. Because he led an intelligent assault on all sorts of sanctioned corruption, we too can use our intelligence to project integrity… You will hear that the most immediate concerns for New Orleans are the wetlands, the levees and the homes. But I’m here to tell you that the most immediate concern for New Orleans is the well-being of our displaced neighbors spread out in a Diaspora all over the United States. Look around the room … and I want you all to understand that there are forces all around you who wish to exploit division, rob you of your freedom, and tell you what to think. They are afraid of change … some of these forces are even within you. But I’m here to tell you, when young folks are motivated to action, when they act with insight, soul and fire, they can rekindle the weary spirit of a slumbering nation. It’s time somebody woke us up. He didn't mention the Return of the Chocolate People or the Angry God's Ass-Kicking Weather Revenge. Perhaps he just forgot.

Tuesday, January 17, 2006

Tell me he didn't say this.

Via People Get Ready:
Nagin later explained to WDSU what he meant: "How do you make chocolate. You take dark chocolate, you mix it with milk, and it becomes a delicious drink."
Nigga please. That is the dumbest motherfucking thing I've ever heard outside of the last Danzig album. Just now on IRC:
Craig: that was professional grade backtracking, man spinn: yeah real industrial strength Leth: can't get that sort of thing at a regular store. Gotta go to BJs for that spinn: need a contractor license Craig: need a prescription and the pharmacist doling it out has to put on a lead shield and a welder's mask just to mix the shit up spinn: GEORGE BUSH DOESN'T CARE ABOUT CHOCOLATE PEOPLE.

Hoo Boy

God is mad at America! Chocolate City! This is good medicine! When I was a kid, my family would play a card game called 31 at every Thanksgiving and Christmas gathering. 31 was like blackjack, more or less, and every hand called for each player to toss a dime into the pot. Everyone started with three dimes; when you had thrown in your last dime, you still got to play one more hand -- my grandmother called it "on your honor." If you won that hand, you were back in the game; if you didn't, you were out and that was that. Ray Nagin is on his honor. One more chance, big guy. And let's try to keep the crazy talk to a minimum, okay? No more angry Gods, no more dragging loons to DC to talk about levee bombings, no more who-cares-about-Uptown, or I can guarantee your fall from grace and removal from public office will be so specacular it will become the stuff of legends. A reminder to my vast New York publishing readership: I'll cover the Mardi Gras for your publication. See post below. greg at suspect-device dot com.

Sunday, January 15, 2006

"New Orleans stinks, but this bitch is mine."

Attention National Slick Paper Magazines

I want to cover the 2006 Mardi Gras in the same fashion I covered business continuity for Fortune: original reporting, photography, illustration, all in a comic strip format. Anyone interested in handing over 2-5 pages of space for a colorful, funny, insightful and unique take on the first Post-Apocalypse Mardi Gras please contact me at greg (at) suspect-device.com. I'm looking for a paycheck here, so no high-school newspapers or anything. kthxbye.

Thursday, January 12, 2006

Yes Indeed

Wednesday, January 11, 2006

Slurp slurp gobble mmm

The bestest pal a telecom company ever had. It's hard to find guys who'll take it in the eyes like that.

Tuesday, January 10, 2006

Pfft Redux

A Response from Congressman Charles W. Boustany, Jr., M.D. From: "Congressman Charles W. Boustany, Jr., M.D." Date: Tue, 10 Jan 2006 16:03:28 -0500 To: Me Dear Greg: Thank you for contacting me to share your thoughts regarding the recent disclosure of telephone intercepts by the National Security Agency (NSA). It is good to hear from you on this important issue. As you may know, in response to unauthorized disclosures in the news media, President Bush has acknowledged certain activities of the NSA that he has authorized since shortly after September 11, 2001. As detailed by the President, the NSA intercepts certain international communications into and out of the United States of people linked to al Qaeda or an affiliated terrorist organization. The purpose of these intercepts is to establish an early warning system to detect and prevent another catastrophic terrorist attack on the United States. It is important to note that the President's directive does not mean that intelligence agencies can spy on ordinary American citizens without a warrant. The NSA must meet two conditions prior to action on this directive. First, they must have information that establishes a clear link to al Qaeda and related terrorist organizations; and second, the communication must be international. Unless a U.S. citizen is an associate of al Qaeda or talking to a member or associate of al Qaeda in a foreign country, they will not be impacted by this program. As an additional safeguard, the process is routinely reviewed by lawyers in the Justice Department and by the Attorney General. The President himself reviews and reauthorizes the program every 45 days, with renewals based on fresh Intelligence Community assessments and reviews of previous activity under the authorization. In an age in which we face determined enemies that continue to resort to using unorthodox methods of war, the United States has had to take resolute measures to protect our homeland and ensure our national security. The President and the U.S. government not only has a right, but an obligation to monitor people with known al Qaeda ties to ensure they do not have a chance to engage in terrorist activities. Additionally, the courts have consistently recognized the inherent constitutional authority of the President to conduct warrantless searches to protect the National security. In the 2004 case Hamdi v. Rumsfeld, the U.S. Supreme Court found that Congress gave the President authority to act against Al Qaeda, even where authorization is not specific and may be contrary to another statute. President's of both parties have consistently asserted constitutional authority to conduct foreign intelligence surveillance. In a statement to the House Intelligence Committee in 1994, President Clinton's Deputy Attorney General Jamie Gorelick stated that "the President has inherent authority to conduct warrantless physical searches for foreign intelligence purposes." A common misunderstanding about this program is that it has been hidden from other branches of our government. I would note that congressional leaders and the House and Senate intelligence committees were all briefed on a bipartisan basis more than a dozens times regarding this program. This is consistent with well-established law and practice for reporting sensitive national security matters to Congress, particularly those dealing with intelligence sources and methods. Members of Congress who had objections to the program could have gone directly to the President or the Speaker of the House to press their objections, or sought to take appropriate action in authorizing legislation. What particularly troubles me about this story is the illegal disclosure of classified information to the news media. We must protect vital information from our enemies, especially that which pertains to our information sources, methods, and allies. Leaks of classified programs only serve to help terrorists and our enemies. I am pleased to hear that the House Permanent Select Committee on Intelligence has already initiated an investigation of certain unauthorized disclosures and their possible consequences. One of my top priorities in Congress is to protect our homeland and ensure our national security. As Congress considers these issues, I will certainly continue to keep your concerns in mind. Again, thank you for contacting me to share your thoughts. Please do not hesitate to contact me again about this or any other issue of importance to you and your family. Sincerely, Charles W. Boustany, Jr., M.D. Member of Congress Well, gosh, that's good enough for me! Wait, did I forget to close the <sarcasm> tag?

Of course not

SBC Has No Plans To Remove Pastor. Let a President get a blowjob and he'll be impeached, but a Baptist minister trolling for rock-hard cop dick gets a pat on the back and a wink.

Monday, January 09, 2006

On Reading Bill Decker

Oh God. Will someone please stop him. Please.

Boo fuckin' hoo

Oooo I'm shaking.

Christian Right Mobilizes For Judge: "Lusk warned adversaries: 'My friends, don't fool with the church because the church has buried a million critics. And those the church has not buried, the church has made funeral arrangement for.' Lusk, a Bush supporter whose organization has received more than $1 million in federal grants under the administration's Faith Based Initiative, said, 'From all I believe, this is the right thing to do.' " Is that a threat, Reverend? Via Pharyngula.

Create an e-annoyance, go to jail | Perspectives | CNET News.com

Awesome

When the flood ruined DNA samples at NOPD headquarters, it washed away hope for inmates trying to prove their innocence: "'In some cases, rape kits and other biological evidence were located in the Criminal Court attic,' staff attorney Ava de Montagne wrote in the motion. 'This evidence subsequently was transported down to the basement. The supervisor of the property room had informed counsel that he was keeping all of this found evidence in a single pile in the downstairs evidence rooms.'" So, police in a flood-plagued city chose to store evidence in a big pile in the basement. Outstanding thinking. The Rude Pundit tours NOLA and finds it's all just too much for him to take, and decides that the city should be abandoned, since we'll never learn to change our corrupt ways and the White House is going to fuck us anyway. Thanks for the input, Sparky. Y'all go on home now and let us clean up. On Cecil Picard. Memo to the New Orleans Parish School Board, and especially Torin Sanders: you've got balls, daring to criticize anyone trying to clean up the irresponsible mess you've made. You fucked up, and fucked over the children of New Orleans, to such an overwhelming extent that maybe it would just be better if you quietly went away some night, before your bleating acquires the notice of some large, ill-tempered predacious population.

Saturday, January 07, 2006

None dare call it idiocy

Via Galliard at The News Blog: "When asked who was to blame for the subsequent Iraqi rebellion, in which thousands of Iraqis and Americans have died, Bremer said 'we really didn't see the insurgency coming,' the network said in a news release."

None dare call it treason

Extra Armor Could Have Saved Many Lives, Study Shows - New York Times: "A secret Pentagon study has found that at least 80 percent of the marines who have been killed in Iraq from wounds to their upper body could have survived if they had extra body armor. That armor has been available since 2003 but until recently the Pentagon has largely declined to supply it to troops despite calls from the field for additional protection, according to military officials."

Friday, January 06, 2006

Hugh Thompson

Hugh Thompson dead at 62.
The Atlanta native who later made his home in Lafayette, was awarded the Soldier’s Medal, the U.S. Army’s highest award for bravery not involving direct contact with the enemy, 30 years after the event. Thompson joined the U.S. Navy in 1961 and then the U.S. Army in 1966. He trained as a helicopter pilot. In 1968, he volunteered for duty that involved flying over Vietnamese forests to draw enemy fire and pinpoint the location of enemy troops. On March 16, 1968, he was flying on such a mission when he came across bodies of Vietnamese civilians outside My Lai. When he recognized that American troops were apparently shooting civilians, Thompson landed his OH-23 helicopter between the troops and civilians and confronted the American lieutenant in charge. When the lieutenant refused to listen to him, Thompson had his crew members, crew chief Glenn Andreotta and door gunner Colburn, cover him with the helicopter weapons and called in more helicopters to carry out 11 wounded Vietnamese. The crew members also received the Soldier’s Medal. Thompson was shot down five times during his time in Vietnam, the final time breaking his backbone. Thompson testified at the court martial hearings that resulted in the court martial of Lt. William Calley for the massacre of about 500 civilians at My Lai. According to chief My Lai prosecutor William Eckhardt, “Thompson put his guns on Americans, said he would shoot them if they shot another Vietnamese, had his people wade in [a] ditch in gore to their knees ... took out children, took them to the hospital .... flew back to headquarters [and] standing in front of people, tears rolling down his cheeks, pounded on the table saying, ‘Notice, notice, notice’ ... then had the courage to testify time after time after time.” In 1998 Thompson and Colburn returned to My Lai, where they met some of the villagers they had save, including a young girl whom they’d pulled from a mass of bodies.
All you right-wing chickenhawks out there: this is what a real soldier does.

The happiest place on earth

Wal-Mart ends food donations to charity.
Ernie Brown, a spokesman for Sacramento's Senior Gleaners, which received about 25,000 pounds of food in 2005 from Sam's Club on Greenback Lane in Citrus Heights, said most food is fine to eat for days after the "sell-by" date. He said Wal-Mart's concerns about liability seem misplaced in light of the Good Samaritan Food Donation Act, a federal law passed in 1996 offering food donors wide-ranging protections from civil lawsuits or criminal prosecution. The law states that donors can be held liable only in instances of "gross negligence." "Lord, we get millions and millions of pounds from Raley's and Bel-Air and Albertson's, and they don't have a problem understanding the law," Brown said. "Why don't Wal-Mart and Sam's Club understand the law?"
Ah, fuck 'em. Some hobo might puke up his buffalo hot wing and then sue -- you know how soup kitchen clients like to sue big corporations -- and then where would we be? Bankrupt, that's where! Am I still allowed to shop at Target, or are they still refusing to sell contraceptives to slutty-looking chicks and other suspiciously non-christian acting slattern?

Attention Louisiana Political News Service

TAKE ME OFF YOUR FUCKING EMAIL LIST. FOR THE JILLIONTH TIME I DON'T WANT YOUR IGNORANT PARTISAN SLAPDASH HORSESHIT IN MY MAILBOX. I HAVE ASKED YOU TO UNSUBSCRIBE ME AT LEAST TEN TIMES, POLITELY AND IMPOLITELY. I WILL REPORT YOU TO YOUR ISP, AND IF THAT DOESN'T WORK i will unleash the fucking fury.

I've got good news and bad news

The Greater Baton Rouge Business Report says that John Breaux is a potential candidate for Governor (that's good), while Mike "I saw a snail crawl along the edge of a straight razor" Francis is a potential republican candidate for Secretary of State. That's bad, as Mike is quite completely insane.

Fucking A

firedoglake: "I've had it with this divide and conquer strategy, and I'm standing up today to say that this nation deserves better. My child deserves better, and so does yours. The ends do not justify the means. That only works if you are on the top end of the food chain and don't give a rat's ass about anyone underneath you. Growing up, my folks taught me that I was no better than anyone else. Period. But they also taught me that no one else was better than me, either, and that sense of self has helped me to question things that I thought were wrong my whole life... But it isn't enough that I want more for myself and my family. Every person in this nation needs to wake up and realize that they deserve more as well." This is my new manifesto. Firedoglake is the best political blog out there, period, and it has everything to do with the characters of ReddHedd, Jane Hamsher, and Loren.

More on -- get it? -- "improvment" efforts

Bellsouth and Cox Communications: Cunts

2theadvocate.com: News - 3rd Circuit ruling blocks LUS bonds 01/06/06. Well that's super. More trouble, more delay, more outraged howling from the corpulent corporations with no interest in brooking ANY competition, never mind "fair" competition. If you fucks put half as much effort into service as you do into whining and filing lawsuits, perhaps I wouldn't have canceled all Cox services and begun phasing out Bellsouth, never again to have them in my home. You are old and in the way. MOVE. Sorry I'm not more articulate, but it's early and I almost sliced off my right index fingertip a few minutes ago, and the blood is making the keyboard slippery. Let us not forget Bellsouth's selfish and cowardly decision to close offices and pull jobs in post-Katrina NOLA after the city offered free wi-fi. Way to step up to the plate, you mewling little cunts. Way to show your true colors, William Olivier. __________ Well, here's a baby step. But the time for asking for meetings and allowing well-maybe-I'll-come-and-maybe-not attitudes is over. I tend to think Nagin is on the side of the angels here, mostly maybe due to my complete and utter mistrust of any New Orleans board and/or council, but I think the Governor has wasted more than enough time on these people and these attitudes, and should have calmy and clearly said, "the trailers are going here, here, here, and I'll park two right up your ass if you so much as blink. Now SHUT UP AND GO TO WORK." Sometimes I wish Edwin was back. He'd be pocketing money like a gay octopus at a boner buffet, but by christ the trains would run on time and there would be some heads on pikes in the square to serve as incentive. __________ Hmm. Starting the demolition a little early, are we? I can see both sides here: obviously, some of these homes and structures are beyond repair and need to come down, but I'm having trouble imagining what sort of space creature would trust the assessment of any but the obviously demolished buildings to the New Orleans city bureaucracy. Can you imagine NOLA officials controlling bulldozers? It would be like the Sorcerer's Apprentice with heavy equipment. __________ More good men gone: Eddie Gabriel and Barry Cowsill. __________ "I was pastoring to police!" Is that what the kids are calling it these days. We used to call it "sucking cock" back when I was in the seminary. __________ Shut the fuck up. Cretinous asshole. __________ This will have meaning only to Lafayette locals: Hey, you senile old batfart! If you've got such a phenomenal photographic memory, how come you can't remember that someone else wrote the frothy drivel you sign your name to and send to the papers? I thought a photographic memory would include appellation, place of publication, date, all of that stuff. You must have the kind of photographic memory that only remembers content and then marks it as ORIGINAL THOUGHT, huh? Sad little liar. Pathetic little plagiarist. No one believes you, Dailey. Give it up. I seem to remember you attending a Times of Acadiana holiday celebration, or anniversary celebration, or something (my memory is not photographic, you see), and getting an award noting your history of letters to the editor. You walked right up and shook Cherry May's hand. You took the award, rather meekly, I thought. Be a man, Dailey. Stop trying to lie your way out of this.

Thursday, January 05, 2006

Fortune piece online, sort of

Fortune has posted a curious text-only version of my Rise Above story to their website. If you'd like to see the pictures too, you can find a scanned version (since the final layout was done at the Fortune offices, I don't have a final computer file) over at my site.

Wednesday, January 04, 2006

Sigh

Another clip-art comic!

Dear Eric

I hate to ruin your clever pun, but you do know that "incontinent" means you can't hold your pee, right?

Tuesday, January 03, 2006

A Life, Wasted