Wednesday, May 31, 2006

Shorter Times of Acadiana cover story

Wear sunscreen. Shorter TOA "Local News": 666, 6/6/06, 06/06/06, 06/06/2006, who can tell the fuck difference when you're just as stupid as Kansas in August, where the corn is as high as an elephant's asshole? These people get paid for this. Not well, but you know, still. OH, and Gene? Gene Williams? How come your half-page bloviating apology for fucking up the Business Hall of Fame story isn't up on the website? I should think that would deserve a wide audience.

Facing South: NEW REPORT: New Orleans storm defenses "dangerously weak"

Click here for "Storm Cloud over New Orleans", the new report from the Gulf Coast Reconstruction Watch. You won't like it.

Sounds more like Acadiana Country Radio and the Dixie Chicks are at odds

Trevis talks to two whole radio mooks and finds them shaking their heads sadly about alienating the fan base while the new Dixie Chicks album debuts at number 1 on both pop and country charts. Someone isn't getting with the program here, and it doesn't seem like it's the fans.

You know, this shit didn't fly when I tried to hide porn from my Dad thirty years ago.

TPMmuckraker:
After several minutes, I approached Congressman Jefferson and told him that I needed to look at the documents that he had placed into the bag. Congressman Jefferson told me the documents were subpoenas. I then reiterated my request to review the documents. In response, Congressman Jefferson removed the documents from the bag and placed the subpoena on top of the other documents before allowing me to review them. Located beneath the subpoena were the documents I previously observed Congressman Jefferson with at the kitchen table. I reviewed the documents and observed that they had been faxed to Congressman Jefferson from an individual named B.K. Son on August 3, 2005 (the same day the search was executed). Noting that the warrant called for, among other things, all communications between Congressman Jefferson and Mr. Son, I collected the documents and turned them into the search team leader as evidence.

Great Headlines of the 21st Century

From BayouBuzz: Louisiana Legislature: Pull The Cock On Cockfighting I eagerly await Jeff's next column, "Let's Not Pull a Boner on Gay Marriage."

Tuesday, May 30, 2006

Unbelieveable

Profiles in contemporary Christian leadership

That famous Bush family compassion

Monday, May 29, 2006

Suspect Device: The Comic

New comics are posted here and in the archive. The latest shows a remarkably strong Doonesbury influence that I thought had been long buried. Still, it made me laugh, and I never laugh at my own work.

Friday, May 26, 2006

Hey, Times of Acadiana

what

sweet

Thursday, May 25, 2006

The Bishop

Bishop Michael Jarrell walked out of a Teurlings Cathloic High graduation ceremony this week because people wouldn't stop cheering for their graduating kids. "Walking out during a graduation is not something I enjoyed, but it is something that needed to be done ... It was a lesson about taking a stand in protest of rude and disrespectful behavior." He has flatly refused to apologize, despite heavy criticism, insisting that he was taking a stand for decorum and respect for the students. The Bishop knows a lot about respect:
(Jarrell) let the Rev. Robert Melancon continue working in a parish after paying one of his victims $30,000 in 1993. Another victim came forward in 1995, saying that he had been raped repeatedly in a church rectory in the 1980s - the first time when he was 8 years old. Father Melancon has since been convicted in that case and sentenced to life in prison. Before the trial, the district attorney said he would seek to have Bishop Jarrell held in contempt of court for refusing to say whether church authorities were investigating other complaints of sexual abuse against priests. The bishop then answered that they had not. One of his former top aides, the Rev. Albert Bergeron, pleaded guilty to lying to a grand jury investigating Father Melancon. Two of Father Melancon's accusers have testified that they sometimes met him at Monsignor Bergeron's rectory, where there was a supply of pornography.
Jarrell in 1994:
I am happy to enclose herewith a copy of our Policy Concerning Abuse or Neglect of Minors together with the Procedures to be Followed to Carry Out this policy ... be prepared to assist us in making it an effective tool in our efforts to protect our beloved children from any and all abuse or neglect and thus provide them (and their parents) with the assurance that the Church is here not only to teach them the dignity of human life, but also to assist them in protecting that dignity.
Jarrell this week:
I am not yet ready to throw in the towel and just go along. From the very beginning Christians were known for confronting society on certain issues. We can still do it. The issue is respect.

Confess, ya bastard!

Excellent angry post about Dollar Bill Jefferson and the Thousand-Dollar Hot Pockets. Also includes contact information so you can call or write and tell Mr. Freeze to resign. I'm going to. I like the utopian dream of getting people to turn on their elected officials and demand responsible behavior, too. It's good to hear it said with passion for a change. We'll see.

Dangerblond on trivial matters

Now see, this is what I've been saying. If it isn't yet another futile tilt at an abortion ban, it's antihistamines, and before that it was kids showing too much asscrack and Sharon Broome trying to get people to sign on to a statement claiming that Darwin was a racist. I suggested some time ago that legislators be fitted with shock collars, nothing too bad, maybe 16 volts, and someone judicious, fair and temperate or maybe me, would sit in the gallery during legislative session and be a one-man Milgram's 37 every time some stooge stands up and brays his idear about how them chickens ain't not animals atall. I suppose we could start a grass-roots movement to kick the bums out and elect more progressive, focused, and intelligent congresspeople, but I feel very strongly that I need to help some folks ride the lightning for at least for one fiscal session if I'm ever to achieve Buddha nature and get those super powers they mentioned in the brochure.

The typo fairy came! The typo fairy came!

I swear to God I'm not so stupid that I don't know how "preach" is spelled. If I catch the typo fairy in here again I'm gonna drench the bitch in Combat.

A model of surgical precision

No, not Frist and the gorilla. Come see Boyd Blundell slice Ezra Klein in to little ribbons over a good example of left-wing uninformed Katrina nonsense and not even perspire. EDIT: Klein's column is interesting, too, not only for its remarkably ignorant, unenlightened and condescending content, but for the more measured discussion going on in the comments.

Greenwald on spineless democrats

Preach it:
For all the talk of the weakened and impotent presidency and the split among Republicans, it is still virtually always the case that the President gets what he wants, and does so without much difficulty. The few times he fails to -- Harriet Miers, the Dubai Port deal, anti-torture legislation -- is because Republicans, not Democrats, take a stand against the White House. But by and large, what happened yesterday with Gen. Hayden's nomination is exactly what would have happened in 2002 and 2003. Democrats are afraid to challenge the President due to their fear -- always due to their fear -- that they will be depicted as mean, obstructionist and weak on national security. And so, even with an unbelievably weakened President, and even with regard to the most consequential issues -- and can one doubt that installing Gen. Hayden as CIA Director is consequential? -- Democrats back away from fights, take no clear position, divide against each other, and stand up for exactly nothing.

Wednesday, May 24, 2006

Four sentences that will haunt me for the rest of my life

Revisionism Summer

Scout gets to the bottom of that bizarre Jonah Goldberg column linked below. It's the hot new internet meme!

Jonah Goldberg

Another take on "the angry tone"

The Discreet, Measured Tone Of The Right:
Now, you may respond that calling this unprincipled fuck an "unprincipled fuck" simply perpetuates his sin or worse, that I don't have any way to attack his position on its merits. You're 100% right about your first objection. It does perpetuate a pithecanthropic level of discourse for a very good reason: there is no possible way to avoid doing so without being a total fool. You think you can "politely engage" someone who compares an American vice-president who served his country honorably for 8 years - not to mention his previous services to America in government - to a Nazi? You can't, or rather, you shouldn't. Nor can you ignore it (although the vice-president should). The terms of engagement have been set by this slimeball - the rhetorical battle-field must always be level. There is no higher ground and attempts to claim it will lead to your destruction (see Daschle, Tom for details). As for that second objection you could make, well I gotta admit it: you are right once again. I do have no way to attack his position on his merits, again for a very good reason. What he is discussing is not Gore's ideas or global climate change. No, what he's talking about, the only subject is, "how exactly comparable is Al Gore to Josef Goebbels" and I will not dignify this scumbag's comparison by explaining in measured, avuncular tones why such a comparison is, and I hesitate timidly before saying it, "unfortunate?" There is no way to attack his position on the merits because there is no merit to his position.

"Hutch Owen Daily" by Tom Hart

First Draft - If You Are Looking For A Way To Be Against Gay Marriage

Oh yeah. Not only do I concur 101%, Athenae is the Mozart of the pissed-off post. Muisc to my ears.

Tuesday, May 23, 2006

A postscript on civility/language/negativity

Don't make fun of Pat Robertson or he'll kick your head clean off

Think Progress:
2000 lbs. -- Weight 76-year-old Pat Robertson claims he can leg press thanks to his “age defying protein shake.” Clay Travis at CBS Sportsline notes “That would mean a 76-year-old man broke the all-time Florida State University leg press record by 665 pounds over Dan Kendra. 665 pounds. Further, when he set the record, they had to modify the leg press machine to fit 1,335 pounds of weight. Plus, Kendra’s capillaries in his eyes burst. Burst.

A Response

My response to dangle-27's comment regarding this post: Oh, please. I thought the Mermaid got me wrong, but I was content to let her have her say. This is ludicrous. Aquarian Self-Help pc-newspeak doesn’t mean shit to me (o my god swearing). My messages are not “spun”; nor do I accept the blanket use of the term “rant.” My posts are my opinion of things as I see them. I will continue to post my opinions in whatever form or language I so choose until I see fit to stop. Worries about how other Americans who may still want to help – or however you choose to designate that group - might feel about my tone is way down on my list of concerns. You’re awfully concerned about my tone, but choose to blithely dismiss Malkin and Instapundit. Malkin and Reynolds have thousands more readers than I do, and reflect points of view far more common in America than you seem prepared to believe. Not worth mentioning? I beg to differ. And if you don’t like them, try poking around in here: http://technorati.com/search/nagin?language=en&authority=n “As for the rest of the country moving on, well yeah…what do you expect? Cancellation of little league ball games, the closing of swimming pools this summer, hunger strikes, vacations canceled or people pulling their money out of the bank accounts and hiding their stash in their freezers? Perhaps a national day of mourning once a week?” No, I expect most Americans unaffected by the hurricanes to move on, but they cannot be allowed to forget, and they cannot be allowed to cease caring. What you‘re not factoring into the dynamic is that the bored, over-it people in Idaho and Wisconsin and Nevada all have congressmen and senators who will be voting on Gulf Coast restoration funds for years to come. If you let them forget or cease to care or cease to be outraged, then their legislators will also forget, cease to care, and cease to be outraged, and you can kiss restoration money goodbye. If you can keep the people informed, if you can keep the people aware of the ongoing disaster and keep them inclined to write letters and speak up, then you can keep pressure on DC. “...But after less than 24 hours after the election, Ray Nagin makes the comment that if businesses leave because of his re-election, he will send them a postcard. What do you expect the reaction to be? Saying things that will turn people against us, whether you are a Blogger or a Mayor is just senseless.” I’m sorry, but I must be reading you wrong: are you really suggesting that we all moderate our speech so that we don’t say anything that might offend someone, or “turn them against us?” What? I agree about the Mayor; someone in a leadership position with the media circling should always measure his words. But I’m not concerned about my blog turning some big business against New Orleans; I’m worried about shitty schools and broken levees and corrupt politicians turning business off and squandering good will. My opinions are, I’m sure, not of substantial concern to any significant businesses. Neither are yours. Neither are any local blogger’s. And if you think that “positive” blog speech is going to have an impact in bringing business in – in spite of the levees, the streets, the schools, the crime, the tax structure – then you’re delusional. What I have to say isn’t addressed to businessmen or even most Americans, anyway. What I have to say is and always has been addressed to the people of Louisiana. From the time I started the Suspect Device comic strip, almost ten years ago, my stated, printed, unchanged aim is to goad readers into rejecting the political process as theater and reclaim it as a basic responsibility of every citizen. Channeling positivity is just as necessary as channeling anger: restraining your outrage at the Corps, not taking the opportunity or the initiative to stand up and say, “This is wrong and I won’t let it happen again”, worring that more anger might turn money away -- that’s not positive. That’s craven. What kind of positive steps have you offered, other than not saying anything that may turn others against us? Two final things: your comments about the working poor now living in conservative cities run by white conservatives and loving it is unfounded, unsupportable, and racist. There have been poor people in New Orleans for centuries, and to try to pin their ever-increasing numbers on Bill Clinton is idiotic; there was more economic prosperity in Clinton’s eight years than there has been in a generation. And these displaced citizens don't want to come back? Really? How do you know? Regarding my language: I’m not here to shock. I write how I want. If you don’t like it, well, you know the cliché. And my “messages” are not “spun”. I make no effort to “disenfranchise” or alienate or whatever PC-buzzword you’d care to toss out, and your implication that I only intend to hurt is as absurd as it is offensive. If anything, I intend to agitate (if I intend to do anything other than note an interesting article). My line about the debate team is the most insensitive thing you’ve ever read? I was mocking the positive blogger stereotype of finding trivial “good news” while the bad news piles up at the door. Just like all that “good news” from Iraq that never gets reported, come to think of it. If that’s the cruelest thing you’ve ever read, you need to get out more: A patriot:
So about 100,000 niggers in New Orleans, and they ARE niggers, throwaway people, by definition, will soon be "led" back to the promised land? With the HELP of FEMA? Ha....them assholes at FEMA can't even move a fucking camping trailer without a mile of paperwork...I say bulldoze that fucking shithole, and let's just start over....never was a good town, screw the tradition, and the "culture" which is basically a bunch of hard up niggers, working for a few rich White pinheads...always been that way down there....
God did it:
"Although the loss of lives is deeply saddening, this act of God destroyed a wicked city," stated Repent America director Michael Marcavage. "From 'Girls Gone Wild' to 'Southern Decadence,' New Orleans was a city that had its doors wide open to the public celebration of sin. From the devastation may a city full of righteousness emerge," he continued.
Another:
“New Orleans now is abortion free. New Orleans now is Mardi Gras free. New Orleans now is free of Southern Decadence and the sodomites, the witchcraft workers, false religion -- it's free of all of those things now," Shanks says. "God simply, I believe, in His mercy purged all of that stuff out of there -- and now we're going to start over again."
A Commenter:
To be perfectly honest, I couldn't give a rat's ass less whether New Orleans sinks beneath the waves and stays there. The best reason anybody can give me for caring about the place at all is "the rich cultural heritage of New Orleans" — i.e., its pollution by the French, its decadent Mardi Gras festival, its many 24-Hour Voodoo Convenience Stores, etc. — and frankly, I'm just not impressed. FUCK New Orleans. Let the Caribbean have it. … Granted, they haven't searched everything yet… but the confirmed Death Toll thus far for all of Louisiana is only 154. And what's likely to happen to that number when all is said and done? Double? Triple? Quadruple? Hell, how about multiplying it times TEN? Even then, that'd be a hell of a lot less than "many thousands" — and it ain't even close to five digits. So I'd really appreciate it if the MSM would stop acting like it was the end of the fucking world. 154 confirmed dead so far? SO WHAT? More people die in traffic accidents on an average weekend — and those people don't have the luxury of an Evacuation Order warning them of their impending danger.
vdare.com:
What you won’t hear, except from me, is that "Let the good times roll" is an especially risky message for African-Americans. The plain fact is that they tend to possess poorer native judgment than members of better-educated groups. Thus they need stricter moral guidance from society.
I can keep going, if you want. You can dismiss them like you did Malkin and Reynolds, but these are the voices of people who are "over" Katrina. This is how it is. And it isn't right, and all the positive vibes and pretending that things are going swimmingly won't. do. shit. EDIT: Slate has good post on the +/- brouhaha over yonder.

Monday, May 22, 2006

Steamin'!

Attention Pulitzer Prize Winners

NOLA.com: Everything New Orleans: "16 named storms forecasted, much fewer than last year's 27" That's "many fewer." Many.

Irony

Count Kaye Grogan's grammatical errors in Speak English . . . or else! Here, I'll start you off:
Okay it's official — I hope! It has taken 200 plus years for English to become America's official language. Maybe we missed something here. Did another boat come in behind the Mayflower with people speaking in unknown tongues?
Uhm ... yeah, as a matter of fact, lots of boats came over. Full of immigrants. Been coming for a few hundred years now. Here's some more:
Since when does a nation who taught their children to speak English fluently need to verify and have a vote in the Senate to make the language official? Only in America! . . .can these bizarre things keep happening.
Have fun! Don't try to hammer the pencil up your nose into your brain to stop the screaming -- it doesn't work!

Attention Times of Acadiana Brain Trust

From today's Business Report: "Poll: Readers don't care about 'American Idol' It may be the top rated show on television, but Daily Report readers say they don't have much interest in 'American Idol'. Nearly 63% of the people who responded to an on-line poll say they don't care who wins the variety program."

email from NOLA

email from NOLA. Haven't run across this guy before. Good photos, good writing. Add this to the daily list.

Get used to this.

For those out there who think NOLA/Louisiana bloggers have become "so negative", try Instapundit and Malkin or Bendan Loy today (Be sure to check out the warm and fuzy comments on Loy's post). This is what a good portion -- perhaps a majority -- of the rest of the country thinks of New Orleans. It started with yammering nobodies like Bay Buchanan, but they're the point people: they say the outrageous first, and when no voices rise in protest, the mainstream feels free to lay on. This is just the beginning. You have have a thousand high school students volunteering during vacation, but you can bet that the rest of the country is about to move on. Is that negative? Expcting a solution? I don't have one here in my hat, but I'll tell you what: if New Orleans takes on too much of a Sigh-well-let's-make-the-best-of-it attitude and lets the rest of America turn away, there won't be many more busloads of high schoolers coming down, or phony Pat Robertson charities dumping minnows in the swimming pools, and there won't be many checks in the mail, either. There's a difference between negative and angry. Negative is "Oh to hell with it -- New Orleans is doomed." Angry is refusing to accept any reason -- ANY reason -- given to lessen or abnegate the responsibility of the federal government to help rebuild after this disaster, or to somehow sadly accept that Nagin's reelection proves that we're not fit to govern ourselves or to get federal help or whatEVER. Jesus Christ now I'm all worked up. Part of the goddamned solution is to refuse to let people forget, to refuse to let feet be removed from the fire, to consistently and constantly remind everyone within reach that the needs are not being met and that people are still suffering. Part of the solution is to keep tabs on the political process and demand accountability like it's never been demanded before. Part of the solution is to continue to raise political issues in the public discourse so that people can vote based on reason rather than race or gut feelings or paybacks. Sorry if this is all too negative sounding; I'm sure there's good news coming out of NOLA (not much coming out of Cameron, though) and maybe the good news can be the beat of the new Positive Bloggers' Guild while the Negative Nelly Bund can continue to point out that the levees are unsafe and the rebuilding is stalled. But hey -- a debate team from Mystic, Connecticut carried moldy furniture out of a ninth-ward ruin and didn't even ask for lemonade! LOOK OUT, AMERICA! Boy, I'm in a bad mood.

Sunday, May 21, 2006

When you're a public figure, you should always behave as is someone is watching you

because they probably are. Don't they teach congressmen this stuff during the orientation?

Saturday, May 20, 2006

Meanwhile, in other news

I call it

Nagin 56, Mitch 42. 44. Subtraction. Who needs it.
Not that I'm happy about it.
Posted 9:17 pm, no matter what the timestamp says.
EDIT: 9:23 Or maybe no. What a seesaw. 17,777 - 52% Landrieu, 16,651 - 48% Nagin.
Batt's back up at 54%. At least Clarkson is getting her ass kicked.
EDIT: 9:29 Here, have some mood music for whatever the result is: Springsteen live: "We Shall Overcome" and "How Can a Poor Man ..." Not Jazz Fest, but as close as I can come.
51% - 49% Mitch in the lead with 214 out of 442 precincts in. Batt still leads Midura by six. Who the fuck votes for Batt? Zombies?
Results are here and here. Secretary of State is faster. EDIT 10:06: 51885, 53%, Nagin vs, 41497, 44%, Mitch Midure 51% Batt 49% Head 51, Pratt 49 Clarkson gaining? 44 to Fielkow's 56?
EDIT 10:17 56068 Nagin / 49884 Mitch 53/47 Batt 48 Midure 52 10:21 Pretty much all over. 100 of 106 precincts have midura over batt, 412 04 442 Fielkow over Clarkson and Nagin over Landrieu. 10:23 What's keeping C. Ray in? Republican support -- the oyster/adrastos theory --and Doug Brinkley, who brought Nagin criticism to a pitch of almost pure bile and put it in front of a nation. With that many Americans telling you how bad your candidate is, the only thing a Louisianian can do is to vote him back in. Fuck you, America! Fuck you, face! Here goes the nose! 10:26 Absentee: "Mitch" Landrieu 12,336 C. Ray Nagin 12,512 By precinct: http://www.sos.louisiana.gov:8090/cgibin/?rqstyp=elcmpct&rqsdta=0520062431750236 10:28 Come ON for fuck's sake 10:33 All in. 52 Nagin - 48 Mitch. Looks like I overshot a little on the call, but in the ballpark. This isn't a mandate or even a "stay the course" vote: this was a "you can't tell us what to do" vote. I guarantee it. Batt lost, Clarkson lost, Pratt lost (I have my doubts about Head, but still) -- good decisions all around. But not in the big one. The big one was a signal to the rest of the country: fuck off. It was a signal to Doug Brinkley: white men who ride around in "rescue boats" with Sean Penn maybe should lay off on the gratuitous insults right before an election. Mitch's platform was so similar to Ray's that there couldn't have been much there to bring him down; but when voters are presented with a black man and a white man who say pretty much the same things, and then are told that the black man is incompetent and the only hope rests with the white man ... hmmm. Hell, it's probably not even racial; oth had mixed support; it's simply a stubborn resistance to listen to the wisdom of a nation that belittled, ignored, insulted, and abandoned a city and a state in their hours of need. Again, I think Nagin crossed the line into incompetence. I'm not a Nagin man, but I'm not a Mitch man, either. I didn't have a dog in this hunt, which is why I never said much about it. But when the insults started being hurled at C. Ray a couple of weeks ago ... I could feel it start to turn. Lukewarm Mitch support and a mayor under attack from America, intellectual, the media ... you don't have to be Ray Strother to see how it was going to play out.

Friday, May 19, 2006

"Goodbye, kids."

Final Clarabell the Clown Dies at 84:
Lew Anderson, who captivated young baby boomers as the Howdy Doody Show's final Clarabell the Clown, has died at the age of 84 ... Long mute as Clarabell, Anderson broke the clown's silence in the show's final episode in 1960. With trembling lips and a visible tear in his eye, he spoke the show's final words: "Goodbye, kids."

This belongs in Bartlett's

From the comments regarding Paul Begala's latest arrogant screed: "I'd rather have no money and a pitbull mentality than millions that you keep using to buy white flags." - flounder, 05.19.2006

The Real Jazzfest: Anger and Sorrow

The Huffington Post quotes Steve Hochman from bloggingneworleans.com:
"No wind, no rain, no storm can stop Fi Yi Yi from coming home," he said, encased in the stunning green suit he'd sewn by hand, as he had for his kids as well, in the six months between Katrina and Mardi Gras (the Indians usually start work on each year's new suit the day after Mardi Gras; the ones he'd been working on were destroyed in the flood). As one of his associates chanted, 'From Mandingo out to Houston, from Mandingo out to Atlanta . . . the drums are calling all of the people to come home,' the Big Chief took up the cry: 'Calling all the people to come back home, New Orleans is where you belong. They took my people away from home. I'm still waiting on my mother, my sister, my brother to come back home.' He had to step back from the mic. He was crying. And then: "Shame on our representatives. Shame on our officials. Shame on all of them. They say they only want good people back. All people are good people. "Listen to the drums. "Listen to the drums. "I am not afraid."

Thursday, May 18, 2006

J. Grant Swank, Jr.: 666!: SENATE VOTES ON HOMO MARRIAGE ON 6-6-06

HOLY GOD IT'S SATAN HERE HE COMES BPLRBPLRTPLBRTPLBRRLPLTBRPLBRPLPHTTTUAGHAUGHAUGHAGHFucking idiot. Funny, in a sad sort of ha-hey-look-at-the-retard kind of way, but still. Fucking idiot. Hey, Grant, do us all a favor and show your displeasure by nailing your mouth shut or something, okay? You know, it's better to light a single candle than to curse the darkness, right, Pastor?

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

Perfection

He's on to us

I need to put up more shelves

2! 1!

Some good stuff

Excellent post from Wet Bank Guide on national perceptions. Dangerblond has more. By request, The Mitch Landrieu campaign's Nagin timeline. I'm no fan of the mayor, and think Mitch is a better choice, but y'all better beware of the backlash. People are starting to notice, and there's nothing a Louisianian likes more than proving to America just how independent he is, even if it means making the wrong choice. Short attention span mayoral forum. Ashley makes me swoon. Childfuckers on the prowl. But y'all are more concerned about that DaVinci code movie and how it insults Catholicism, right?

More journalism lessons from the Times of Acadiana

Tuesday, May 16, 2006

Conservative Bloggers get PTSD

From the endless battles with the berserker liberal, wild-eyed and fueled on crank, cock, and communism! We're like fucking VIKINGS, man, we're RELENTLESS. Pffft.

Shorter Hinderaker

Or, if Rose is too long winded for you, there's always this:

I really wanted to hate this, but ...

I mean, "Children of the Storm" -- Please. LiveJournal poetry. But you know what?
My daughter was asked to write about her experiences over the past year when she came back to school in New Orleans in January and this is what she wrote: "There was a Hurricane. Some people died. Some of them were kids." My daughter was 6 when she wrote that... ... Just do something important with your young life. Don't sit around and wait until you're 50 to suddenly understand how precious all of this is. There's always the story of the bitter, angry old man who picks on little children and never says thank you to the waiter or waitress and doesn't say hello to the mailman. And then one day the old guy gets cancer and a wake-up call, reality check, and he realizes how little time is left and suddenly he's volunteering at the oncology ward at Children's Hospital and he asks after the bank teller's mama and he stops and pets the neighbor's dog and he tells everyone that he can: I never knew how beautiful it all was. Don't be that guy. Nobody likes that guy. New Orleans got cancer this past year. We got our wake-up call and if you're living an existence here that is without purpose and mission, then you are asleep. Twice in my column in recent months I have invoked the words of a Magazine Street barber named Aidan Gill, whose call to arms is the most powerful I have heard since the storm. He said: "A time will come when someone asks you: 'What were you doing about it?' You can't tell them: 'I was just watching it. I was just an innocent bystander.' Let me tell you something: There are no innocent bystanders in this." No truer words have been spoken. I can't tell you what, exactly, to do; how to engage in your community. I wouldn't be so presumptuous; the philosophy here is think for yourself and find your own way. But if finding your own way involves putting on work boots and heavy gloves this summer and going into neighborhoods you've never seen in this city before, then all the better. There are tens of thousands of people and institutions that need help in this community and not all of them are going to make it -- but by God, it's not going to be because we didn't try. It's not going to be because we didn't give everything we had -- our hearts, our souls and our bodies -- into saving this place and making it better than it ever was. Your home. There are no innocent bystanders. Not in this courtyard. Not in this neighborhood. Not in this city. Not now. Not ever.
What he said.

I am *not* going to be the only person to fail to link this

Monday, May 15, 2006

Update: Black Vox

More on that sputtering butthole who proposed the Final Solution for illegal immigrants. Shame, really. I kind of liked Psykosonik. I wonder if Vox wrote the lyrics for "Krank Phreak"?

No way Mexicans are tougher than Jews

If you're not yet convinced that the Christian/Political Right has been corrupted to the point where it is now a living incarnation of evil, then I have just the thing for you:
If it took the Germans less than four years to rid themselves of 6 million Jews, many of whom spoke German and were fully integrated into German society, it couldn't possibly take more than eight years to deport 12 million illegal aliens, many of whom don't speak English and are not integrated into American society.
Aren't you rotten fucks going to be surprised someday soon, when you wake up in Hell, cinderblocks chained to your feet, holding you in eye-deep boiling cat shit, right next to Mohammed Atta. "Wait!" you'll scream. "There's been a mistake!" "No mistake," Asmodeus will chuckle, as he drops another shovelfull of flaming blue carp shit (OPA!) down your gagging throat. "We've received special instructions regarding you." "I feel your pain, Bro," Atta will say. "They told me the same thing!" Mmmmnnnghh ... this isn't as good a fantasy as Rove wailing and blubbering in an orange jumpsuit as the Hispanic baliff laughs and drags him to The Hole, but it will do ... oh, yeah ... it sure will ... TAGS: Afternoon Delight

Gail Sheehy warned everyone back in 2000

Esequiel Hernandez

He would have been 27 this Saturday. But in 1997, he was shot in the back and left to die by Marines guarding the Mexican border. He was, not that it really matters, an American citizen. By all means, let's put troops on the border. That way there will be fewer to offer resistance when la revolucion comes seething though the gates of power.

Saturday, May 13, 2006

what

Karl Rove Indicted on Charges of Perjury, Lying to Investigators Don't toy with my heart like this, Jason.

Friday, May 12, 2006

If Ashley Morris and I ever met up for a beer, it would sound something like this ...

Revolution

Firedoglake -- Stand the F'Up Already: "It is astounding to me that conservatives have been far bolder in criticizing the president over his NSA shenanigans. And even in the face of the USA Today story, detailing more administration lies and explaining the NSA%u2019s plans to build a database of every call made within the country, we see no collective demand from Democrats to stand up and say, NO MORE! WE HAVE GOT TO DO SOMETHING. We need a movement. We need to be our own leaders, people. It will take all of our talent, all of our knowledge. All of our cooperation. This has to be a citizen-led movement, and it will take all of us working together to build the necessary pressure. Yes, our Congress may be controlled by the president's party, but there are some brave elected officials for whom we can build support. And this is not a liberal or conservative crisis. This is an American crisis. And our media -- mainstream and progressive -- have often been too timid to stand up to this administration, but the stories are starting to roll in. The New York Times, the Boston Globe and even USA Today are working it now. But we have to care. We have to be outraged. We have to take action. This is our moment. Our public servants are there to follow the will of the people. If the people want George Bush to stop breaking the law, then the people must, and can, make him stop." Read the rest. I think some of the suggestions are a little timid, but it's past time that concerned citizens demand spine and sense from our representatives, D or R. I don't expect much, but I'm willing to be surprised. Let's see some outrage, please. Let's see some representatives standing up. Let's see some leadership oh god i have to stop or I'll wake everyone up with the laughing. And get out of your BellSouth/ATT/Verizon plan if at all possible, if for no other reason than the very real possibility of the financial shit hitting the legal fan. BellSouth in particular has been giving Louisiana the high hard one for years and their capitulation with the NSA is the last straw for me. Only Qwest had the balls to tell the NSA to go fuck itself, but there are other non-cooperative options: T-Mobile, Nextel ... I'm ready to pay Cingular their ridiculous cancellation fee just to disassociate myself from ATT/BellSouth entirely.

Thursday, May 11, 2006

This is so stupid I scooped my brain out rather than ponder it further

Shoo, brain! I have no further need for thee! Rush Limbaugh on the liberal utopia that was Louisiana before Katrina:
... we were all stunned because New Orleans has been run by Democrats. Louisiana had been run by Democrats for decades; liberal Democrats to loot -- to boot. New Orleans should have been a -- a utopia. There should not have been any racism because liberals don't believe in it, should not have been any unemployment because liberals don't like that. Everybody should have been earning lots of money because liberals support paying people more than the minimum wage. There shouldn't have been any discrimination because liberals are not racists. There shouldn't have been any poverty because liberals won't tolerate it. They have a war on poverty -- and yet, what did we find? We found out it was the exact opposite! We had a microcosm -- a model of exactly what unchecked liberalism does.
Hey, how'd the piss test go this week, Fatty?

Outrage of the day

It's hard to keep up. If it isn't keeping tabs on every single phone call placed in America, it's prohibiting the US Inspector General from auditing any new contracts for reconstruction work in Iraq.

7 months: still no trailer

From 3rd Battle, linking to WWL:
After Hurricane Betsy, a New Orleans man became a hero when he rescued others from the flooded areas of the city. Ed Wragge has been forced to sleep inside a tent that he pitched inside his gutted house. He's been waiting weeks for the keys to his FEMA trailer. Then after Hurricane Katrina, the same man asked FEMA for a trailer to live in until his flood damaged home could be rebuilt. On Wednesday, Eyewitness News found him living in a tent. Ed Wragge, 71, has been sleeping on a cot inside a tent that has been pitched in a room of his gutted Gentilly home.

BellSouth is involved? I'm shocked.

Our little USA Today, all grown up. Before anyone blusters that people with nothing to hide shouldn't worry about information being collected, please note the entry below regarding the scuttling of the warrantless wiretap investigation because the NSA refused to grant security clearances to the investigators or even release a list of legislators who had been briefed on the program. I should think that the "nothing to hide" argument would cut both ways, right? Our Louisiana legislature, tackling the pressing issues of the day. And some trivial ones, too. On the subject of fetal pain, po' blog drops some science.

Wednesday, May 10, 2006

If anyone still isn't getting it

Security issue kills domestic spying inquiry

A big buttery fuck you to the rule of law: "WASHINGTON - The government has abruptly ended an inquiry into the warrantless eavesdropping program because the National Security Agency refused to grant Justice Department lawyers the necessary security clearance to probe the matter." I don't think the country can take another two and a half years of this. I really don't.

They lie even when they know they'll be caught

More Katrina Fraud Said Yet to Be Seen - Yahoo! News

More Katrina Fraud Said Yet to Be Seen - Yahoo! News: "(Investigators) filed fraud, theft and other charges against 261 people accused of hurricane-related scams; 44 have been convicted. Many of the defendants were FEMA employees accused of soliciting bribes from contractors in exchange for higher government payments; or individuals fraudulently obtaining emergency aid."

This is what I have to put up with, week in and week out

From this week's Times of Acadiana:
Good: Some Bonus OK, this falls under the mostly good news category. The Lafayette Parish school board is considering giving teachers bonuses from a teacher salary reserve fund. Later this month, teachers are scheduled to get a bonus check of $54.11. Wow. That isn't going to go a very long way and most teachers we know spend much more than that out of their own pockets buying supplies and needed materials for their classrooms. Considering the job teachers do, the job we want them to do, they deserve so much more. Still, something is better than nothing. We learned that in school. -- G.W. Bad: Are They Safe or Not? When a 15-passenger van carrying students from St. Edmund Catholic School in Eunice blew a tire and overturned, ejecting four of the kids, the question of the vehicle's safety came up. The National Highway Traffic and Safety Administration says such vans have a terrible rollover rate and issued a safety advisory. Van makers say the NHTSA's testing needs to keep up with technology. So are they safe or not? The kids, not the vans. If the vans aren't safe, then neither are our children. Somebody needs to come up with some answers and quickly.-- G.W. Ugly: Bye-Bye Forever Two bad men were put away last week. Francis Vallery Jr. copped a plea and will spend the rest of his life in prison for murdering his girlfriend in March, 2005. Meanwhile, Charles Andrus was convicted on five counts of aggravated rape from the late 1980s and early '90s and handed five consecutive life sentences, which means that unless he's Dorian Gray, he'll die behind bars. The crimes were heinous and some believe worthy of the death penalty. Maybe. But at least it's good to know that both men will do some suffering of their own before they die.-- G.W.
National Newspaper Association Newspaper of the Year, 1997. Unbefuckinglievable.

USATODAY.com - Brown disputed levee breach after Katrina, documents show

Bahahahahaha

Orphans of the Storm

Tuesday, May 09, 2006

Fuck You

Shinn sees little progress in N.O.: "'In New Orleans, you've got high crime, you've got a bad educational system. Because of all the tourists, it's hard to keep the city clean. It's just hard. It's entirely two different markets,' said Shinn, who moved the team from Charlotte to New Orleans in 2002, to the AP. 'They couldn't survive without tourists. The whole city is built on it, and (Oklahoma City is) not. You're built to draw people that want to grow families. I'm a person of faith, and I love this country. I've seen more flag-wavers here (Oklahoma City) and more people that are God-fearing than any part of the country.'" Nothing down here but communist fag junkies and filthy gun-toting transients. Take your basketbell team and shove it up your ass, you god-fearing-flag-waving blithering idiot.

Reading material

Monday, May 08, 2006

He even lies about the stupid fish

Saturday, May 06, 2006

Religion & Civic Priorities & Stupidium, discovered by Marie Curie in 1462

Judge Orders San Diego to Remove Cross. After 17 years of fighting the order, San Diego faces fines of $5000 a day. They're lost multiple cases, the Supreme Court has rfused to hear their arguments, public referendums have failed ... Look: take. The fucking cross. Down. Use your remaining money to fund your backrupt pension plan or shore up services or invest it. Cities are not in the business pf protecting or promoting religion. This reminds me of those unable-to-learn Lousiana school districts that insist on mandating prayer before board meeetings or football games, year in and year out, getting shot down every time while the kids get dumber and dumber and the locals agitate for ID in the science textbooks. I don't recall Jesus mentioning any special affection for or deals offered to stupid, ignorant, pigheaded, or otherwise unreasonable people; maybe that was in Corinthians or something. I only read the red letter parts. I'll just hang on to this cash so it doesn't get wet. Good. I'm sure the Governor's action is based on sincere environmental concers, just as the governors of MIssissippi and Alabama oppose open-loop systems out of concern for their environmental effects. And I'm sure that the light decrease in natural gas supplies, or perhaps a slight rise in prices at the consumer end, or perhaps even a slight drop in natural gas coporate stock prices as investors see opportunities being squandered ecuse of a refusal to use more responsible technologies begins to backfire ... I'm sure America will understand. And perhaps this will prepare America to be understanding on the morning that it wakes up to find its been given a gulf oil vasectomy until recovery efforts can be adequately funded ...

Friday, May 05, 2006

More on Goss

Partisan Hack:
"Rep. Porter Goss said Thursday that the uproar over allegations that White House officials purposely identified a covert CIA agent...doesn't yet merit an investigation by the House Select Committee on Intelligence, which he chairs...'Somebody sends me a blue dress and some DNA, I'll have an investigation.'"
How cool is that? Hope you didn't leave any protien stains over at Foggo's place, you simpering turd. Here's a Slate article from 2004 regarding Goss's ham-fisted reorg at the CIA -- gear in mind, as you read this, that things only got worse in 2005. From PG's Wikipedia page:
On the morning of September 11, Goss, Graham, Kyl and members of the House Intelligence Committee were having breakfast with General Mahmoud Ahmad, who had earlier organised the transfer of US$100,000 via Saeed Sheikh to the lead 9/11 hijacker Mohammed Atta, in a top-secret conference room on the fourth floor of the U.S. Capitol. After discussing the opium poppy problem, they were talking about Afghanistan-spawned terrorism with Ahmad when a member of Goss's staff handed a note about the attacks to Goss, who handed it to Graham. Ahmad had arrived in Washington on September 4 and had met with George Tenet and other administration officials.[7] Goss fully defended the CIA and the Bush administration. With the White House and Sen. Graham, his counterpart in the Senate Intelligence Committee, Goss rebuffed calls for an inquiry in the weeks immediately following September 11.
A quick but nice rundown of other recent CIA dick-tripping -- like firing whisteblowers who for some reason objected to secret CIA-run prisons in Europe. First Draft has lots more. What an outstanding public servant.

MAYBE IT HAS SOMETING TO DO WITH THE ALLEGED WHORES

Sage - Firedoglake: "Color me confused. Everyone on TV seems to be buying the line that the Goss resignation has been planned for weeks. No natural curiosity about the fact that it takes effect immediately, or that there is no replacement, or that he had a meeting scheduled this afternoon he didn’t show up for. Not to mention the fact that as Professor Foland pointed out in the comments, the White House would’ve probably sacrificed its collective left nut to avoid stepping on a drunk Kennedy story."

Stuff

Whenever I feel disorganized, I remember the story a co-worker once told me about a former employee who would organize and archive projects in (computer) folders labeled "stuff", "more stuff", "crap", "other crap", "old crap", "New stuff, misc crap", etc. The worst I have to compare with that are several dozen CD's labeled only with the word "BACKUPS". Is open rebellion coming? In a way, I hope so -- I think the most important political step this country can take is for people to reassert control over government, and kick out the corporations, industries, religious fundamentalists and other moneyed interests. See for the latest example. But I am of course a cynic, and I have little confidence that any sort of clean sweep will stay usullied for long. Maybe, though ... maybe a very strong, forceful grassroots movement will scare off and push back the usual suspects long enough for representative democracy to prove itself something more than an academic curiosity and maybe repositioning the role of the American citizen in driving public policy over the role of the political crony will instill a feeling of civic responsibility and pride in the population and maybe right after tea I'll poop out a pony and we can fly off to Dragon Land to pick up StarBright and Smurfette and have a big glittery rainbow candy cane clusterfuck while that old dragon with the glasses sings the Internationale in Spanish. I wonder what's on TV tonight. Did you know Noam Chomsky spoke at West Point last month? Did you know that 2000 cadets rioted over a drug search about a week later? Clinton is sinister head of Global Warming Conspiracy or something I just shut up shut up shut up you voices aren't real not real I won't do what you say shut up shut REPUBLICAN cong -- oops, sorry about the caps; don't know how that happened -- REPUBLICAN CONGRESSMAN drops two year effort to scuttle Flight 93 memorial. Oops. OH CHRIST NOT BOUREE TOO! First cockfighting, now this. Why, you may ask, do I hold the Lafayette School Board in such complete and utter contempt? Ahem. $50 BONUS checks ($50! That ain't chickenfeed!) to underpaid teachers against a substantial increase in insurance rates and by God tougher dress code rules to keep those little fucks in line: NO LOUD OR DISRUPTIVELY COLORED UNDERPANTS. ALL STRIPES MUST BE VERTICAL AND NO MORE THAN .65" WIDE. HIGH-BOY COLLARS ARE NOT ALLOWED ON DAYS WITH AN "R" IN THE NAME. SPATS MUST BE WORN ON THE SQUASH COURTS AT ALL TIME. NO BELLY SHIRTS ON FAT GIRLS. We'll learn you little turds some learnin', I tell you for true. As the Super says, "I know there are some things that make sense and some things probably don't make sense." Yeah, like why you haven't been run out of town on a fucking rail like the last puffed up baby boss clueless nitwit to hold the position.

Michael Homan: Allstate Calls Me A Liar

Unfortunately, Mr. Homan's story is not at all uncommon. In fact, I'd go so far to say it's common. De rigeur, even.

Wednesday, May 03, 2006

Unnoticed irony from notable nitwit

Michael Reagan: "Why do you think that the Democrats and their enviro-crazy allies have prevented us from drilling in the ANWAR area of Alaska, one of the most desolate places on the face of the earth, which they picture as an unspoiled paradise, or looking for oil offshore in Florida and California? Why have they made it all but impossible to build the refineries needed to produce gasoline and heating oil? They don't want to lose an issue they can continue to exploit, and will until we are all riding bicycles. The current gas hikes are perfect fodder for demagoguery..." Gee, thanks, Times of Acadiana, for bringing us this wisdom. I will never get over how far that paper has fallen. Worthless.

Burn

Cole vs. Hitchens. SPOILER: Cole wins. EDIT: well, maybe not. Hitchens loses for sure, but something about Cole rubs me wrong...

The Raw Story: US doesn't classify Taliban as terrorists, paper finds

Taliban instead classified as salsa band sporting a full horn section and "irresistibly spicy Latin rhythms."
While the Taliban became mortal enemies of the United States in the wake of Sept. 11, the group was a Texas oil company favorite under the Texas gubernatorial administration of George W. Bush. A delegation visited Texas in 1997, in an effort to sign a deal for a 2 million British pound oil pipeline. Wrote the British Telegraph in 1997, "The Taliban ministers and their advisers stayed in a five-star hotel and were chauffeured in a company minibus. Their only requests were to visit Houston's zoo, the Nasa space centre and Omaha's Super Target discount store to buy stockings, toothpaste, combs and soap."
And some of those surface-to-air maracas they have heard so much about, comprende?

Excellent take on reactions to the Colbert Incident

Dollar Bill moves one step closer to the big house

Could this be the stupidest thing ever written? Maybe!

From Deltoid:
Glenn Reynolds: "Of course, if we seized the Saudi and Iranian oil fields and ran the pumps full speed, oil prices would plummet, dictators would be broke, and poor nations would benefit from cheap energy."

The Great Right-Wing Meltdown of '06

It's well underway. Also: Gavin and company are in the zone this week.

This is not good. This is not good at all. In fact, this is bad.

I know bad juju when I see it, and this is bad juju:
Chicken bones washed ashore at some areas around April 22, but more bones appeared over the weekend. Piles up to two feet wide appeared Sunday on beaches west of the port in Gulfport and in Long Beach and Pass Christian.
(Via First Draft and Google because Scout forgot to post the link.) ALTERNATE POST TITLE: All The Birds Come Home To Roost

Their work done, FEMA hitches up their chaps and collectively rides off into the sunset

FEMA closes long-term recovery office. Everything is BACK TO NORMAL DO YOU HEAR ME?

Tuesday, May 02, 2006

Looks like SOMEBODY got a SOUR PICKLE!

Times like this, a fella could sure use a drink, huh? Schroeder found it.

Your President on the upcoming hurricane season

"It's going to be interesting -- let's pray -- first of all, pray there's no hurricanes. That would be, like, step one."
Step two would be sneaking that book of weather spells out of the library without Professor Snape catching us. RAIN RAIN GO AWAY ETC (REPEAT)
"The amazing thing in the area down there -- I don't know if you all went with me -- but it was -- there's this totally different attitude from when we were there before, early on, obviously, after the storm. People are coming back. Sales taxes along the Gulf Coast of Mississippi are higher today than they were a year ago this date. And that's positive."
Really? Does he mean tax revenue or does he mean that rates have been raised or does he mean xcdoiuq2r3450BZY&pcxx hey look a blue car hey karl look blue car? (Via da po' blog. )

Whoops

Dammit OW shit! Heh well golly that sure came around and bit you clowns in the ass huh I bet that smarts somthing terrible.

This is where I live

And if it wasn't a tornado, it must have been fucking Rodan because that was some serious shit. And I think someone would have seen Rodan, although it was way past sundown which means everyone was pretty well lit. In other news, Guffman still absent; vigil continues.

Apocalypse Pooh

OH BOO HOO HOO HOO HOO HOO HOO HOO

You BRUTES! Words can hurt, you know. Sniff. Via First Draft. EDIT: Well, hello, hundreds of U.S. News readers. Kind of a letdown, wasn't it? Go look at some of the other stuff, including the comics which I am happy to do for slick paper national publications with cash to burn and/or marginal standards.

W makes the vig

CNN.com - Bush approves Dubai takeover of defense plants - Apr 28, 2006. By God, Dubai was owed some sort of payoff for something or other and by God, they're going to get it, public opinion be damned!

Monday, May 01, 2006

Suspect Device

New comic up.

EDIT: Greetings, First Draft readers! I'm in the middle of a busy week, so I doubt I'll be posting for a while, but please look around, check out the comic archives, and generally trash the place and put your feet on the furniture. There's ripple in the fridge.

A little background: Suspect Device has been a fixture in south Louisiana since 1997 (or thereabouts), appearing for the last 8 years in Gambit Weekly New Orleans, and has appeared every now and then in the Chicago Reader. It's been nominated for an AAN Award, has won four New Orleans Press Club Awards, a bunch of Lousiana Press Association awards, a School Bell Award for Excellence in Education Journalism (!) and been featured in a national anthology of alternative cartoons edited by Ted Rall. Fortune magazine recently featured a four-page comic story that was Suspect Device in all but name.

I am given to understand that John Goodman once described the strip as "World-fuckin'-class", while former governor Mike Foster is alleged to have dismissed it with "Nobody reads that shit." I don't know which comment delights me more.

Please note that the cartoons never stopped; while Gambit recovered from the storm (they lost everything, pretty much, and are just now moving back into their old digs), I turned my normally Lafayette-Louisiana-local-interest-only cartoon Snake Oil into a vehicle for Katrina/Rita commentary. Scroll to the bottom to see the first post-apocalypse cartoon.

Thanks for the pimpage, Scout!

Thank You Stephen Colbert.

Scofflaw

Stephen Colbert at the White House Correspondents Dinner

A full transcript of Colbert's incendiary speeech at the WH Correspondents dinner on Saturday. This not only silenced a room full of reporters and news executives; it agitated Chimpy and the Missus so much that they walked out of the dinner.

Please read and enjoy the most on-target and relentlessy vicious political satire of the 21st century.